Ah the beloved “protein shake.” The answer to all of our fitness questions wrapped up in one oddly-colored sludge. According to an insightful article at internationally respected Popsugar entitled: “These Dietitians Explain the Best Ways to Drink Protein Shakes for Weight Loss” if you need to lose weight, drink sludge with veggies. Need to gain weight, drink sludge with more protein. Need to increase energy, you guessed it, sludge with both! Essentially if you have the IQ of or exceeding a well-educated house-plant you will basically want to abandon all solid food and rely completely on sludge. Oh the nonsense! And here is why:
Law of Fitness #13: You will not lose weight by eating more.
Says the expert: “Have them (protein sludge) as the protein in your meal, if that makes sense for you (It does not). For instance, have a protein shake at breakfast with a side of fruit. For lunch, if you don’t have time to grab a sandwich, have a protein shake with a side salad.”
Or, and hold on to your hats ladies and gentlemen, just don’t eat breakfast. Or lunch. If you want to lose weight, really want to lose weight, you have to eat LESS! That is likely going to mean skipping a meal or two. Not only have people survived worse, we are actually set up pretty well to handle it. What the experts don’t tell you is your body has this mechanism for storing energy for times when there is no food. It is called body fat. So if you really want to lose weight, instead of ingesting fitness sludge, consider letting you body burn some of the stored fat. It really is that simple.
Law of Fitness #3: If it’s processed, it isn’t good for you.
“Jillian recommends blending your protein powder with one cup of frozen berries, one cup of greens (such as kale or spinach), and unsweetened almond milk”
I am a little unclear why Jillian does not recommend eating, say, a piece of chicken, a salad, a bowl of berries and a handful of almonds. If you had to choose between fitness sludge and what appears by all accounts to be… lunch, why would you choose sludge?
“Coach Tom,” You say. “Lunch takes too long! Fitness sludge is much quicker.” I highly doubt that. I too used to belong to The Church of Sludge and I can tell you that frying up a piece of chicken in a pan takes maybe 10 minutes? Hand-washing a blender takes maybe, 3 hours? Those things are impossible to get clean! I have also never sliced open my finger on a piece of chicken.
Are you a Church of Sludge member? Have you ever cut your finger on chicken? If so, please explain below and send this on to someone who might enjoy it.